It's your Aunt Mena's Birthday today.

Dear Sienna Elyse,

        Today, I decided to start writing you letters. Hmm, it's not exactly a really special day. I'm not sure why I chose it to start writing you. Today is June 1, 2011 – oh wait, it is quite a special day, actually! It's your Aunt Mena’s 32^nd birthday. She hates birthdays. I'm sure she'll tell you that herself. But, of course, that’s silly. Every single day of your life makes you older, so dreading birthdays is like dreading tomorrow, or this afternoon, or the next minute, or even the next second. Age really is only in the head and only means whatever you want it to mean.

        Anyway, the point of this letter, and the ones to come, is to tell you how things are going and how I got to your adoption. It's going to be a long road from here to being your mommy. One day, you might ask me why your real parents gave you up and I'll tell you that it's because you were meant to be my baby girl all along; that I've hoped and prayed and thought about you so much and so long, I even started writing you before I knew you existed. And the truth is, that will just be the truth!

       The truth of the matter is that I'm going to have to work very, very hard to be your mommy. You see, currently, I’m single, not very rich, rent a house of less than 800 square feet (though I do own some property), driving a very sensible four-year-old car, I don’t date, and I have a fainting condition. My parents, your grandparents, are living in South America. They’ve been there for the last ten years. The rest of our family is spread out everywhere else. So let’s just say, I don’t have a lot of familial, financial, or fatherly support (the three big "Fs").  Maybe I'll get married before I meet you, maybe my family will move closer to each other, or maybe I'll win the lottery. But right now, this is where I'm at.

       Technically speaking, all these factors could make one quite certain that I’m flipping bonkers out of my mind to consider adopting you. But of course, what they don’t know and what you by now know, is that I’m extremely determined and I usually do whatever I set out to do. What's more, I don’t just do it, I do it well.  Ha.

        I’m saving up for you. If my budget is correct and I can continue to stick to it, I could be starting the adoption process in about a year; the problem is that things rarely go as planned, so I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to start this whole process. In the meantime, while I'm waiting for you, I'm going to keep myself busy with these letters and working towards all the things that will make having you possible. Until that wonderful day that I will get to hold you in my arms and tell you in person how much I love you, I have plenty of things to keep me busy. I’ll need a better house to bring you home to. I definitely want a better car to drive you around in, this one is fine, but by the time you get here, it’ll need to be replaced. I’m figuring out the daycare/work from home thing, still. That hasn’t panned out yet. But we’re getting there. 

        OK, big concern of mine, I must confess – school! Yeah, I know you’re not even born yet and even when you are, you won’t be going to school for several years. But, you see, you’re the most important thing in my life and I know that if I don’t find the right place to live with the appropriate schools, then I’ll end up sending you to whatever schools are around and if I'm not in a place that has great schools, you'll end up somewhere not great. And that, my dear Sienna, simply will not do! So I’ve thought of a couple options.

Now – hear me out on this (or is it, read me out? Hmm) – Austin, Texas. Yes, I know, it's Texas, very hot, Texas, very big, Texas, gun-toting lot, Texas, Republicans, Texas, and well, Texas!! I’m not sure I can ever get my head around the whole Texas thing. But, Austin is actually a great city. Also, your uncle and his family live there. Which is nice, because that’s family we can be around. Also, your uncle is thinking about teaching at some point and if he's still in Austin when you're going to college or highschool--depending on where he ends up teaching--I'd love for you to go to school wherever he's teaching. (You know, he’ll tell you this, but I think you should hear it from me first – everyone should be a philosopher!)

        Right, so Austin is an option. Then there’s Europe. I say Europe and not a specific country because I’ve been torn, lately, between France and England. France, of course, has our family on your grandfather's side, and I do love France and all things French. I just think the language does not like me very much. And England, well, I love England. Their movies and humor are really great…not that that’s a good reason to move there. But they’ve got some of the best schools in the whole world!! Imagine – you going to Cambridge. I know you probably won’t think it’s as cool as I do, but then again, I never had the chance to go to school. Plus, I’ve read so many books having to do with Cambridge – I've dreamed about going to school there the way little girls dream of being princesses in castles. Naturally, in my dream I end up in a castle anyway because after such a great education, I’m clever enough to get a job that will afford me one. Ha.

        I guess that’s as many places as I’ve thought of to raise you so far. I’m sure I’ll come up with many other harebrained schemes before you get here. I'll be sure to keep you updated.

        I should really end this with some tidbit about what’s going on in the world today. Paris Hilton (you may or may not know who she is) was on Piers Morgan’s show (look it up) last night and saying, in reference to an indecent tape someone made of her "...now when people look at me, they think that I'm something I'm not just because of one incident..." and was upset about how people think she's not an upstanding character because of one thing that happened. Also, she was saying how, apparently, she’s worked for everything she has, including her $10MM brand...since I work in trademarks, I'd love to get her insights on that! Ha. Now, don’t take mommy the wrong way, but that girl is the dumbest thing since Mr. Camping first started telling people when the world was going to end. First of all, everything Ms. Hilton has is because she had the money to get it. She has not really worked a day in her life. It's insulting to people who know what real work is to hear her say that. Honestly, she should just be proud of not having to work and not try to lie to the world about how difficult things are for her. You know how much I dislike liars. And second, the indecent tape is not the ONE thing that gave people the bad opinion we have of her. Saying that this one thing is what made her seem less saintly in our eyes, is like saying a giraffe doesn't exist because you've never seen one before. It's simply absurd. She worked very hard at getting the bad reputation she has. She shouldn't blame one instance for all that work.
        Of course, there are much bigger issues in our world today than a rich girl spouting off nonsense, but we’ll have our own share of issues to deal with together, so I’ll leave the big stuff in the past for now.

        I love you,

Your mom.