You are my sunshine

Dear Sienna Elyse,

        Yesterday, someone told me that I had no business adopting. They told me that I was just a single, lonely girl who had no direction in her life and bringing a child into it would just be a way to make myself feel better – basically, that I’m adopting you for selfish purposes. I thought about it a lot, because the person who said it is really the last person who should have. I considered what my motives are for being your mommy. I started with the question, “Why do I want a child or children?” and, of course that brought me to the question, “Why does anyone want children?”

        If you think about it, my reasons for wanting children are no more selfish than the average couple who get married and decide to have children. How is their desire for children in an overpopulated, resource-drained, utterly depraved society, any less selfish than my own? If one were to remove their own wishes and emotions from the equation, they would realize that procreating is killing the planet, our future generations are likely to be faced with more issues than they will have the resources to handle, simply because we keep having more children and, therefore, having children—in any number—is simply the wrong thing to do. But, of course, we all want a family. Our evolutionary biology tells us that we should not be alone. So whether it is a married couple having their first child, or a single woman adopting her own child, the same level of selfishness, or, you could argue, evolution is present to make them desire that child, regardless of the consequences.

        I know it sounds like I’m saying that you’re born into a miserable world where selfishness is inherent, resources are limited and the world is headed for its demise, and technically, well, that is true. But, you, my dear, you were born to do greater things than simply populate this planet. You were born to be a part of the answer to all those problems. I don’t expect you to go out and save our planet, but I do know that you are going to be raised to see the whole picture – not just the little lines in front of you. You are going to be raised to understand that life cannot be simply lived, you have to work at it. You are going to be raised to know that we do not know all there is to know, that we are only as far from an answer as we can imagine - we don’t even have the imagination to know what there is to discover. We hypothesize and make guesses based on what we know, but we don’t know all there is to know to base our guesses on. So how can we even make those guesses? My generation and the one before me have discovered a lot and your generation and the one after you will discover even more! But only if at leat some of you are raised to know that you always need to push yourself, always need to go beyond what is accepted as “fact”. I may not be able to raise every child in your generation, but I will be the mother of a forward thinker.

        I didn’t get the chance to push my knowledge to its limits. My parents decided that they knew what was right and didn't pushed us beyond the lowest requirements by law. Now, you can’t blame your upbringing for how you turn out, but that can be a factor. I couldn’t go to college, so I started working and I was simply never able to stop working long enough to do anything else. But if I had had the chance, I would have loved to study, to go beyond my limited knowledge and learn so much more about the world. And that’s what I want to give you. I may not be able to raise you in luxury, but you will have the opportunity to go to school, to learn what is out there and more importantly, to learn that you must always keep learning and looking to learn. And even if you don’t end up being a great scientist, or philosopher, or the queen or president of a country, I know that you will carry with you what I will teach you and bring it to the next generation.

        I won’t demand that you go out and become a Pulitzer prize winner, I’m asking that you look beyond your bedroom, beyond your home, beyond your yard, your city, your county, your country. Not all amazing people are simply born, there’s always someone there who taught them how to be amazing. So even if you’re a teacher and are able to pass something important on to the next generation, then you will certainly be amazing.

        Of course, I know that the saving of our world lies in the hands of our children. And if everyone would raise each child like they were going to be the next most important person in history, we might find many of the answers that we’re looking for. I intend to raise you as if you were going to rule the entire world and whether or not you do rule the world, I expect you to raise your children that way too.

        So yes, my desire to have you is selfish—I want to be the mommy of the world’s most important person in history! And that’s you Sienna.

        I love you.

Your mom